Insider Tip: Not Letting Your Guest List get the Best of You!

Stationary Credit: Paper Moss

Oh the inevitable guest list - it is the single factor in influencing almost every facet of your BIG Day! Just think, by adding only 5 more people to the list could cost you an extra $250 extra for food + $125 for drinks + $25 extra for cake + $50 for extra seating + $20 for extra favors...and so on (you get the picture). The average wedding ends up costing $100 dollars a guest when all said and done, so even a tiny addition to your guest list could be catastrophic to your budget! But where do your draw the line?

Deciding which people to invite is often a sticky subject and can be the main cause of stress in any event planning process. Often the situation arises where if you add this ONE person, then you feel obligated to add a certain "group" of people that the original invitee is associated with. I like to call it the "church syndrome." For example, lets say the mother of the bride feels she needs to invite Mr. & Mrs. John Doe, who are close friends from her sunday school class...which seems all fine and dandy till 'mom' then feels obligated to invite the WHOLE sunday school class so no one is offended! As you can see...the "church syndrome" (which applies in many settings) can be detrimental to your guest list! Personally I remember palnning my wedding and our list was at 180..then litterally, in 2 minutes time, it was up to 280 people! Crazy right?! And on top of all this, creating the list is not half as bad as DOWNSIZING a list if it gets to long - I felt like an Simon Cowell on American Idol kicking people off!

To prevent A LOT of stress on yourself, my number one tip is to set up guest list guidelines before you start writing names down. If you set up guidelines for the guest list, you will create a much more manageable list, and you feel as though you "fairly" judged each person(s). Below is a list of similar guidelines I typically recommend for my clients - feel free to customize your guidelines to YOUR event and budget!

1. Invited guest must.....

• Be immediate or extended family or...
• Have a close, personal relationship to the bride/groom OR the mother & father of the bride/groom, or...
• Have been in contact with the bride/groom within the last year or have physically been in one another's home

2.  Do not invite a guest's date unless they are in a long-term relationship or engaged

3. Do not invite children unless they are family, or if you have a close relationship with them and they are above the age of eight

Stationary Credit: Atelier Isabey

Although the guidelines above are extremely SIMPLE, you would be amazed on how many people may not fit into the categories - especially when it comes to people the mother/father of the bride/groom are 'feeling' obligated to invite, eventhough you yourself do not know them well! Remember, definitely add or subtract guidelines to the list above so that it fits to your event and budget! If you stick to the guidelines you set for yourself, your guest list process may be a much HAPPIER one ;)

Important Insider Note: Typically 20-30% of the guests you invite will be unable to attend (and that calculation is usually right on the spot!). So do not worry if your venue only holds 200 people but you have invited 260 - it will most likely work out in the end!